One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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