If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
