But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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