The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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