i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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