i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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