tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
