I'm pants shitting drunk right now
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
