I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize