I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
