you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
