Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Randomize
