I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
