the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
