People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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