I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
