forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize