woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
