oh god the rape fog is back!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
