There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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