I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize