what day is it and did you see me today?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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