Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
