Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When are your genitals available?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
