I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
