dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
