Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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