There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
