VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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