He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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