I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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