I feel like I'm in dance class right now
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i think i just lost a toe
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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