with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
