Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
