I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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