babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
