alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
