i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
