I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
