mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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