He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
