I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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