He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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