I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
