you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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