Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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