i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
