I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
