Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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