i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
