Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
