I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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