I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
