There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I was not drunk enough for that final.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize