I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
