If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
