I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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