Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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