Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
