Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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